I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why it sometimes feels like I’m so far from reaching my goals. It’s frustrating, especially when you know what you want, when you see the future version of yourself so clearly, but something still holds you back. After doing a lot of reflection (and some deep conversations with my inner self), I’ve come to understand that what I think my problem is might not be the real, deeper issue.
So today, I want to share these insights with you. Maybe you’ll recognize some of this in yourself too.
What I Think My Problem Is:
1. I’m Burnt Out and Low on Energy:
I feel exhausted a lot of the time. It’s like there’s a cloud of tiredness over everything I do. I know I should be doing more—more for my business, more for my self-care—but the energy just isn’t there. This makes it hard to keep up with the routines and habits I know would help me become the future version of myself.
2. Executive Dysfunction and ADHD/PDA:
If you’re like me and struggle with executive dysfunction, you know how frustrating it can be to want to do something but not be able to initiate the task. It feels like my brain is rebelling against me when things feel like demands. This leads to inconsistency, which I’ve always thought was the root of why I’m not reaching my goals.
3. Limiting Beliefs and Shame:
Deep down, I know I carry a lot of shame from my past. There’s this constant feeling of “not being good enough,” or “not worthy” that rears its head whenever I get close to achieving something. I thought if I could just get rid of this shame, I’d be able to step into my full potential.
But Here’s the Real, Deeper Problem:
The truth is, my surface-level problems—burnout, executive dysfunction, and shame—are just symptoms of something deeper. The real block to reaching my goals is far more internal and subconscious than I initially realized. Here’s what I uncovered:
1. A Deep Fear of Failure (and Success):
I’m not just afraid of failing. I’m also afraid of what success might bring. Stepping into my goals, becoming the version of myself I’ve dreamed of—Lux 3.0—means stepping into unknown territory. It means taking on a new identity and, in some ways, letting go of the old version of me. That’s terrifying. What if I succeed and it changes everything? What if I fail and confirm the fears I’ve carried for so long? The fear of both outcomes has created a paralyzing effect where I stay stuck in the middle, neither moving forward nor fully retreating.
2. Unresolved Trauma and Conditioning:
The limiting beliefs I carry—things like “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t deserve success”—aren’t just thoughts. They’re the product of years of conditioning and trauma. These deep-rooted narratives were embedded in me from an early age, and breaking free from them requires more than just positive thinking. There’s a protective part of me that still feels like shrinking, self-sabotaging, or holding back is safer than fully stepping into my light. My mind hasn’t fully reconciled what life looks like without the constant fight to prove my worth.
3. Self-Worth Tied to External Validation:
Even though I’ve been working hard to detach myself from seeking approval, there’s still a part of me that waits for external validation. I want to feel worthy from the inside out, but I’ve realized I’m still operating under the belief that I have to earn my success, earn my rest, earn my worth. Lux 3.0 is someone who already knows they are enough, but I’m still learning how to embody that on a deeper level.
4. Fear of Being Seen & Vulnerability:
Reaching my goals means being seen—truly seen. It means being vulnerable and showing up authentically in all aspects of my life, not just in the curated moments I share online. Vulnerability is terrifying because it opens you up to judgment, rejection, and criticism. I’ve been hiding behind my perfectionism, waiting for the “right moment” to step into my power, but the truth is that this is just another form of self-protection. It’s easier to stay hidden than to be fully visible and risk failure or criticism.
Why I Can’t Seem to Reach My Goals:
After realizing what’s beneath the surface, it’s no wonder that I’ve struggled to reach my goals. Here are the deeper reasons why I’ve felt stuck:
1. I’m Still Building Emotional Safety:
Lux 3.0 feels safe in her body, her emotions, and her identity. She doesn’t carry the same emotional weight I do right now. But the truth is, I’m still working on creating that emotional safety within myself. I’m still healing, still reparenting myself, and still learning to trust that it’s safe to take up space. Until I fully believe I’m safe to grow, succeed, and fail, I’ll continue holding myself back.
2. Perfectionism Creates Overwhelm:
I’ve always thought my inconsistency was a problem, but it turns out that perfectionism is at the root of it. I set these massive, unattainable goals, and when they feel too big, I freeze. I want to become Lux 3.0 overnight, but that’s not how growth works. The overwhelm I feel isn’t because I’m lazy or undisciplined—it’s because I’m trying to do too much all at once.
3. I’m Operating from Scarcity:
My nervous system is wired for survival. Growing up, I had to fight for my worth, fight to be seen, and fight for success. This has left me operating in scarcity mode, where I’m constantly worried about not having enough—enough money, enough time, enough energy. Lux 3.0 operates from abundance, and that shift from survival to thriving is something I’m still working on.
4. I Haven’t Allowed Myself to Receive:
I’m great at giving—whether it’s to others or to my work. But receiving? That’s a whole different story. Lux 3.0 receives with ease, whether it’s love, money, or success. But right now, there’s a part of me that feels uncomfortable with receiving. It’s like I still believe I have to prove I’m worthy of it, and until I break that belief, I’ll continue resisting the abundance that’s already available to me.
So, How Do I Get There?
Now that I know what’s really holding me back, the path forward becomes clearer. Becoming Lux 3.0 isn’t about fixing myself—it’s about shedding the layers of fear, shame, and protection that have been holding me back. Here’s what I’m doing to move forward:
1. Shift from Surviving to Thriving:
I’m working on rewiring my nervous system to operate from abundance, not survival. This means embracing somatic practices to help my body feel safe, whether that’s through breathwork, movement, or just allowing myself to rest without guilt.
2. Start Small, Move Consistently:
Perfectionism won’t get me where I want to go, so I’m learning to start small. Rather than overwhelming myself with massive goals, I’m focusing on tiny, consistent actions that bring me closer to Lux 3.0 every day. Slow growth is still growth.
3. Embrace Vulnerability:
Lux 3.0 is unafraid of being seen, and that’s something I’m working on. I’m practicing showing up authentically, even when it feels uncomfortable. Whether it’s in my relationships, my work, or my online presence, I’m choosing to be seen, imperfections and all.
4. Trust the Process:
I won’t become Lux 3.0 overnight, and that’s okay. This journey is about building trust in myself, in the universe, and in the process of becoming. Every step, no matter how small, is bringing me closer to the life I know I’m meant to live.
Final Thoughts
If you’re feeling stuck, like you’re constantly working toward your goals but never quite reaching them, maybe the problem isn’t what you think it is. Maybe it’s something deeper—something that requires you to let go of old beliefs, old patterns, and the version of yourself that feels safe but small. The journey to becoming who you’re meant to be isn’t about fixing yourself; it’s about shedding what no longer serves you and stepping into your power with trust, vulnerability, and self-compassion.
Thanks for being here with me on this journey. We’re all becoming our own version of Lux 3.0—one small step at a time.
ok, that’s it for today. Loviou bye!
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