I used to think that when things didn’t work out, I was failing. That if I wasn’t where I planned to be, something was wrong. But over time, I’ve come to realize something that’s been a guiding mantra: if it is not this, then it is something better. If it’s not now? Then it is at a better time, and you can handle it either way. If not them, someone better. If not here, someplace different.
Let me tell you about the time I lost my job before I started Lux CBD. I thought I had it all figured out. I was in my probation period, loving the community I was building and the people I was working with. People who, to this day, I still collaborate with in different ways. Then, boom—I got fired. It felt like a massive rejection. I thought, “Oh my god, I didn’t even pass probation, this is ridiculous.” I got fired for doing what I understood to be my job, which was building that community. It felt like I had failed in the most spectacular way.
And after that? I couldn’t find work easily. The jobs I wanted didn’t align with what people were hiring for. It was nerve-wracking and terrifying. I was encouraged to start Lux CBD, and here we are six years later—self-employed, stressed, but also blessed. Every blessing comes with a bit of a curse, as Trevor Noah says. That duality is important. Redirection might be hard, but look at the life it’s given me. Look at the freedom.
Handling Disappointment and Learning to Wait
I still struggle with disappointment sometimes, but back then? I was bad at it. I used to think 10 steps ahead, planning everything meticulously, so when things didn’t go as expected, my world would shake. It’s hard when you feel like something is slipping away, whether it’s an opportunity, a job, or even a friendship you thought would last forever. You put so much into these things and then they crumble. But honestly, those moments of redirection are a weight lifted. Losing those things makes space for something better.
The thing is, if you don’t get what you need right now, it’s often because it’s not the right time. The right time will make itself known, and the right reason will make itself known. If you want something and it hasn’t come through yet, there’s a reason—and that reason will become clear later on.
The sooner you can enjoy your life, even when you don’t get exactly what you want so badly, the sooner you’ll enter a neutral energetic space that’s so beautiful. In that space, you become a magnet for what you want to call in. That’s where detachment comes in—learning to be present in your life instead of always thinking ahead or ruminating on the past. Neurodivergent people, like me, are guilty of this. Constant forward-thinking or getting stuck in loops of what went wrong. It’s exhausting.
But I’ve been trying to take in the glimmers, those moments of joy, by just noticing the world around me and being in the present moment. It’s so rare for me to feel truly present in the here and now, but it’s worth the effort. And in those small, present moments, you remember that you haven’t come this far just to come this far. That’s a mantra I keep close. It means that if not now, then soon. If not here, somewhere else better.
Reminding myself that I’m safe, loved, and cared for—by me—puts me back in my power. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we speak to ourselves in those moments. And let me tell you, the way we speak to ourselves shapes our reality.
The Joy in Discomfort
Here’s the thing—sometimes, the only way to grow is to get uncomfortable. We talk a lot about getting out of comfort zones, but for those of us who have been traumatized, that can feel like asking a lot. The world has hurt us, so why step out into it again? But when you lean into discomfort in manageable, safe ways, it can change your perspective and help you grow.
For me, I recently did something that felt so uncomfortable—I asked out a waiter I found attractive. Now, if you know me, you know I never ask anyone out. Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) is very real, and it’s kept me quiet for a long time. I just assume people will think, “No, you’re ugly, goodbye.” But that’s not true, and I know that logically. So, I asked. And guess what? They did have a partner. But I allowed myself the discomfort of asking because what if they didn’t? What if it turned into something great? What if good things do happen?
I’ve learned that “what if” doesn’t always have to lead to worst-case scenarios. It can lead to something exciting and unexpected. Maybe it’s not this time, but the next. And that’s why I’m okay with redirection now, even though it used to terrify me.
Redirection Means Growth
Look, redirection is hard. It feels like rejection. It feels like failure. But in reality, what’s meant for you won’t pass you by. It might just not be the right time. Or maybe you’re not in the right place to receive it. The things we want aren’t always the things we need. And sometimes, the things we need require us to change, to grow, to shift how we move through the world.
Maybe you need to accept yourself more. Maybe you need to change the way you speak to yourself. Maybe it’s about letting go of people who aren’t your cheerleaders. Maybe it’s saying hi to someone new or taking a small risk that feels scary but could lead to something amazing. That tiny bit of discomfort is what makes space for something better to come.
Because it will come. If not now, then soon. If not here, then somewhere better.
Ok… Loviou bye!
Oh wait! Also, if you didn’t see on Instagram, I am going to be taking a break. From 17th to 27th. So all orders will be sent the 28th.
You can use code BREATHE20 at check out for 20% off!
Www.thisisluxcbd.com/shop
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